Proactive kindness is the cure
In a world where you can be anything, be kind – this is a phrase that has seen a lot of currency in the last month as a result of the heartbreaking circumstances surrounding the suicide of TV presenter Caroline Flack. It’s such a simple goal but one that has the potential to make so much difference to the people around us. Kindness is a quality that is often underrated – its feminine energy means it’s sometimes perceived as weak or less powerful than something like courage. However, kindness is one of those acts that has a very strong but subtle ripple effect. The more often we resort to it the more we can improve life for those around us and the more our own experience of life improves in return.
Kindness out of chaos
2019 was a turbulent year for a lot of people. There was chaos and uncertainty, a lot of conflict as well as grieving and healing that had to begin for many. Tensions ran high, whether that was as a result of the December General Election, Brexit or the climate emergency. This created rifts in homes, offices and relationships across the country, many of which have yet to be healed. In the midst of all this upset and confusion, which has been a continuing theme so far into 2020, I believe that kindness provides a key antidote. It’s the focus for speakers at a civic prayer breakfast I’m helping to host on 27th March and seems to be providing the foundation for a building movement on social media. #bekind and #bekinder have both been trending on social platforms and there have been many articles in the press on how we as humans can treat each other with more gentleness.
Kind words…
I have introduced a section on my new website called ‘Kind Words.’ This is in part a way to demonstrate the value of what I do – and how it might help others - but it has also made me think about how powerful kind communication can really be. The positive reviews that I’ve received have had a huge impact on me. It doesn’t just reaffirm the message of what I’m trying to achieve professionally but the positive, authentic and compassionate statements make me feel like I’m doing a good job – and that I can go on to help others.
This, I think, is the power of using kind words: it fuels us to go on and do more, to be kinder to others, or to change the way we approach relationships. There is an enormous amount of destructive power in unkind words we all know that. However, what I think many of us overlook is how much of a difference proactive kindness can really make. You might not make positive comments about a colleague’s achievement, for example, as it might feel like it would be a bit effusive or over the top – or perhaps you refrain from saying something kind to a relative with whom there is tension because you feel like it opens you up to being hurt.
I think it’s time that we took the stabilisers off where kindness is concerned. Just let rip with all the kindness that you feel but never express. Especially in the midst of all this anxiety, uncertainty and challenge, it could be the life raft that we – and others - need to stay afloat.