Misty mornings this week - enjoying time alone
Take a day to yourself – 5 tips for making the most of it
A recent New York Times* article highlighted the importance of a having a day to yourself and what a gift it can be. Several things chimed for me about the benefits of taking a few hours, or a day, even two, in my own company. It’s restorative, and reminds me that I can manage on my own that I need to be undisturbed sometimes to think well and keep my focus on one thing, and to finish that one thing before going on to the next. It used to happen in those ‘gap’ times between meetings, on train journeys, travelling to and fro. Without gap times I can become a little irritable and scratchy for no apparent reason. If that sounds familiar and you’ve lost sight of how to spend time on your own here are 5 tips I’ve found useful
1. Be intentional. Book the time in your diary and keep to it. Go away somewhere, it doesn’t have to be far, the change of scene is helpful in itself. I have begun welcoming visitors to The Space for a day, or a few days. People use their time however they choose, but literally just being there is half the value.
2. Look forward to it. Plan ahead, part of the joy is the anticipation. It might be a one-off, or the start of a habit that will sustain you during our emergence from lockdown. Not so long ago, I took a day to myself and chose to read back through my journal. I’d been writing in this particular book for several years and I’d reached the last page. It was the end of an era of carrying around that well-loved journal. Reading it from start to finish helped me notice themes, the people I share life with, the things that bring focus, meaning and purpose to my life. It was really uplifting. You’ll find what’s right for you – I’ll do something different next time, but there will be a next time.
3. Enjoy it. It’s not a luxury, it’s needed, restorative, necessary for putting balance back into our lives and helping us return home with more capacity and openness towards others around us. What would be enjoyable to you? I’ve noticed people coming to The Space like the simplicity of doing as they choose. That could be walking at a pace they like, stopping and staring, eating at a time that suits them, spending ages lost in a book, writing, proof-reading, whatever their ‘thing’ is, getting up super early or really late, for once it doesn’t matter. One time, I got lost on a walk, and I actually enjoyed working out the OS map (there wasn’t a phone signal) and finding my way back. It was a sense of achievement and a bit of an adrenalin rush.
4. Reflect on it. That could be in conversation with a coach. Visitors to The Space often book an hour with me which helps them to think. They take the time to consciously notice what’s becoming clearer, what’s emerging, hear themselves think out loud, gain perspective and see what’s next. You can do this on your own too, in your way, but do capture your reflections somehow. Write yourself a letter, or a postcard. Journal. Write to others. Take photos. Put the next date for yourself in your diary.
5. Share. Our moods are infectious, so be prepared for that moment when you get back to everyday life. Think about how you are going to walk through the door, take that sense of space and clarity to others. To paraphrase the poet, Marianne Williamson**, as we let our lightness shine through it gives others permission to do the same. It’s liberating.
* https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/19/well/family/alone-time.html?smid=url-share
** https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17297.Marianne_Williamson